Quest for Identity

It was last October I met Adam in a conference of peace and justice in Canada. The best thing about being part of international conferences is you get to meet like-minded people and build networks. I was presenting in this conference but for me it was more about learning from other participants experiences. I met Adam in one of the tea breaks and started talking about my interests in the field of peacebuilding. I am widely traveled and have seen many countries and cultures but my passion for working in my homeland cannot be hidden in any conversation. Adam got to learn this immediately but to my surprise this seven feet tall white guy replies back " Tapai Nepali Bolnu Huncha."? ( Meaning - Do you speak Nepali? ) This was one of those incredible moments which is too beautiful to be true. In the foreign land a foreign guy talks to me in my mother tongue, what else could be more rewarding to me in that conference? Adam had apparently volunteered in Darjeeling for several education camps in past years. Darjeeling not only gave him the chance to learn Nepali language and culture but he also met his soul partner Nayantara. Adam and Nayantara are now married with two beautiful kids; Nirvan and Shantipriya.
I was invited by this couple for dinner at their place. It was a beautiful evening, not as cold as it could get for December nights in Waterloo. Their house decor gave me a warmth of homeland. They had made it to seem like a little Nepal. They mentioned Nirvan their 5 year old boy was only speaking Nepali when he was home but since he started kindergarten he started forgetting some of it. He totally understands the language though. Both the parents were upset with this and they insisted Nirvan to speak Nepali at home. This made me feel "Wow". I have been to many immigrant families where parents push their children to speak English at home so that they can compete with their contemporaries at school.This has even generated a group of youths that have started searching for their identity later at some point of life. Not to blame who is wrong in this I see this as a consequence of globalization that opens up almost everything for you but makes you confused with your own identity. Adam is a Canadian and so is Nayantara now and definitely the kids are by default but look at the names they got. Adam was even concerned if the name Shanti is relevant enough to describe the inner and the worldly peace. I have a name that makes no sense in Nepali language. People ask me every time what would my name mean in Nepali. I have no answer for them. It does not mean every name has to reflect the nationality but our affinity to get names of western culture is also blurring our identity in someway.
By identity I don't solely mean attributes like name and language. To me identity is broader. It is about your connection to who you are and where you have your roots. Adam and Nayantara run education camps in Darjeeling every year. Are you thinking if they are given grants for this? They don't get any funding for it but they do several creative ways of fundraising in Canada to make money for it. Charity has no limits and it is hard to agree with Mother Teresa when it comes to giving, Mother Teresa said" You can only give when you have enough for yourself". How much is enough? Nayantara has a short hair to her ear length. She used to have a long hair down her waist. She donated her hair to a cancer patient.
After a typical Nepali dinner, Adam drops me home. On the way we talk about his interest in serving in Nepal and India. I asked him if he would be interested to teach in Nepal in some university after his PhD that he is finishing in a couple of months. He mentioned he would love to but that to him is more like taking away a job of a competent Nepali specially when Nepal is going through this viscous cycle of poverty and political instability. So much I learnt in an evening on what can identity mean. And, now I question. Should we be calling ourselves a proud citizen after we know we haven't cared enough for our country? In the quest of picking the masks that makes us look beautiful are we trying to unmask the one that makes us the real us? This evening spent with the lovely family gave me an inspiration to reflect on my inner self..........